Last week I was standing on the edge of a bridge with a client of mine, she flew in for a one day personal transformation retreat with me. We were throwing rocks into the river 25 feet below. On each heavy stone she had written a word that summed up one thing that used to weigh her down in her career, relationships and health that she no longer struggles with.
Another, splash, thud, and she felt the weight she has carried around for over 10 years sink away, washed clean.
But, none of this would have meant jack squat if we hadn't done something really important first: Help her get over what other people thought of her.
And that didn't just happen in the moment her burdensome graffiti clad rocks broke the surface.
It happened in small steps every day over the last year.
My client suffered and struggled for many years, with headaches, depression, food issues, feeling alone and stuck even though on paper her life looked good. And it was the result of following the advice of well meaning people, over what she really wanted.
This is how she stepped off the roller coaster ride of other people's input and opinions and crafted a life that loves her back:
First - we got real. The truth is that you don't want to care what other people think about you, what they think you should and shouldn't do, or how they view your clothes, tone, work, lifestyle. But you do.
We all do.
Even your super spiritual "have their s**t together" kind of friends have moments and times and reasons to feel the pull to do what someone else wants them to do.
Heck, I follow my dreams for a living, and I still get roped in to people pleasing from time to time.
The secret to overcoming the paralysis of the "What will people think?" question is to replace it with a better question. The better question is:"In the face of this opportunity to make a choice, what would love do?"
Ask the question. And then get quiet, real quiet, until you feel something bubble up. An answer, a mental image a quote or song lyric.
Listen in, and trust it.
Let me be clear, I ask myself this question all the time when I find myself at a crossroads, big or small. And sometimes you can find me shaking my fist in the air at love, "You want me to do what?!! Are you kidding?! But that's so scary, what if that project flops, people laugh, my clients think I'm crazy?"
But it doesn't flop, no one laughs, and my clients appreciate me more when I let love be the guide. Call it love, your higher power, God, The Universe, the front office - it's not here to screw you over. Nope. Not you. It's on your side.
Note - I didn't say listen to yourself first.That doesn't always work either, we, like the other folks in your life, have an ego with an agenda that clouds the way we see the world.
Asking, "What love would do?", provides objectivity. A chance to see yourself and your situation from a distance as a witness. To notice that you aren't your ego or thoughts, you are the one hearing them. And make a good decision from there.
You stop reacting and start taking inspired action.
Taking small inspired action steps each day let this client land her dream job, travel, lose weight without dieting, start writing her first book and begin public speaking, all in the last year.
People are asking her how her life got so good. They want to be as free as she is.
When you ask this better question, you, like she, will find yourself confident and clear in your actions, because at the root it is about something bigger than just today, just this one choice. Bigger even than you, or I, alone. It's about honoring your higher calling, taking the small steps everyday that lead you closer to love.
So I ask you, in the face of this one thing that is on your mind today, how will answer this 4 word game changer... What would love do?
Written by Karlee Fain, Celebrity Health Coach, Author, Speaker
In addition to founding Every Body Thrive, Karlee is a Celebrity Health Coach, helping the high profile folks that lead our country and culture stay balanced and healthy. But she has a secret mission - showing everyday folks the secrets to living your best life too. Want to have a personal retreat or breakthrough like the one mentioned in this article?Click hereto apply for a FREE Private Breakthrough Coaching Session with Karlee.