It’s time to bust a myth, ready? NO ONE IS SELF-MADE.
Nope. No one.
Sure, lots of people pull themselves out of tough situations, harness the energy to over come big things, or create a life they love. But none of them did it alone. Not one.
As the resident health coach for a few A-list entourages, I’ve done my share of globe trotting, talk show green rooms, product signings and lived on too many tour buses to count. Why?
Because my clients, super-duper stars, require an entire team to perform at such high levels.
And so do I. And so do you. But not the way you might be thinking - your entourage is unique to you.
Call it your entourage, your choir, your flock, your “inner - circle”, we all need people and resources to keep us on track, relaxed, and resilient when the s* hits the fan.
And if the people we surround ourselves aren’t top notch, well we aren’t either.
Here’s what a good entourage does: - They hold us accountable to our best selves. - They pick us up when we fall. - They give us ideas and fresh perspective. - They listen. Mostly they listen.
The good news is that you don’t need to have a large entourage - just one or two members can be enough and you don’t even need to know them all personally.
Entourage members can be friends, occasionally family or co-workers (though this can get hairy), they can be writers, poets, and leaders (living or dead) who’s biographies inspire you.
And who picks the people in your entourage? You do. In fact you already have.
How’s that working out for you?
It’s time to clear up the difference between an entourage member and a groupie - we all have both. A great entourage member is the best resource we could have. But on the flip-side, a groupie is is like wearing lead boots in the ocean - they pull you down fast. Let’s break it down.
Here are the top 4 traits of a good entourage member:
1 - Peeps You Easily Feel Good Around. They are uplifting and generally positive company.
2 - They Are Going In The Direction You Want To Go. They are learning and growing and trying new things.
3 - They Make Time For You.
4 - They Call Your Bluff. They know when you aren’t being your best and aren’t afraid to kindly point it out and hold you accountable to your best self.
A groupie is just the opposite. They are someone you might like to hang out with, but who doesn’t help you with the heavy lifting, in fact they might give you more to lift.
3 Ways to spot a groupie:
1 - Groupies Mooch Energy. They complain a lot, are always stuck in the same place or you feel more drained than uplifted after spending time with them.
2 - Groupies Compete For Attention. They will always try to “one-up” you. If your day was great they’ll tell you how their’s was better. If you have a tough time they will tell you how their life is worse. They don’t let you have your own experience without making it theirs.
3 - Chatter Box. They talk more than they listen. They dump their day on your lap and don’t give you a chance to talk about what’s going on with you.
So how do you create an entourage and/or clear out the groupies? Focus on who you do want in your entourage, and tell them.
Tell a couple people that meet your entourage guidelines what you are up to, and that you’d like to get together over the phone or in person for a jam session - where you can support each other in reaching life goals.
And for the groupies - don’t let them on the bus.
It’s ok to decline engagements, to not sit with them on your lunch break, to focus on things that lift you up. In fact, it’s the only way to live your best life. (I once spent 2 months on a tour bus with my headphones on to politely distract me from the chatter of groupies - I got to listen to audio books and build my business rather than talk gossip, it was wonderful, and true to me!)
Remember, groupies weren’t there for you anyway, so as you focus on the people and things that lift you up, the ones who don’t might fuss, but soon fade away.
Use the comments section to tell me - how’s your entourage treating you? Any changes you might make?
Written by Karlee Fain, Celebrity Health Coach, Author and Hilarious Dancer
In addition to founding Every Body Thrive, Karlee is an international celebrity Health Coach, helping the high profile folks that lead our country and culture stay balanced and healthy. She's also the author of The Grocery Store Adventure Guide, featured in the Every Body Yoga DVD and the most likely to be caught dancing around her office. Click here to apply for a Private Breakthrough Coaching Session with Karlee until June 1st, 2015.